respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Randomize
