Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
