i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
