What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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