Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Two words: blizzard sex
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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