I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize