I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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