no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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