I'm lost and stupid without you.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Randomize
