hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
