When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
