just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you have to choose: penises or morals?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Randomize
