Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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