so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize