so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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