Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
