i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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