i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
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Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
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Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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