There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
OPIZZABONMYDICK
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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