dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
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I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
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Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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