i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
