I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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