That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
