do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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