yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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