I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?