I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?