That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.