Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.