drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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