i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
