Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I need to wash the frat house off of me
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize