your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
