Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
