Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
dude. I can hear the air.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
