Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
