How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
