Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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