Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
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Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
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Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?