do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
