Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
