Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
