still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Just pee around me
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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