i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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