i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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