ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
