idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
