found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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