thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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