Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you would pick up someone in the library
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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