I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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