Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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