the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
