oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
