no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
