return my video game
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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