Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize