smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
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your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
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Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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