i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
