party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
