now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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