she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize