Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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