sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You took a bar mat shot.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
