the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
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After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
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She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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